Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Bank Job is a Steaming Pile of Dogturd.

Jason, Jason, Jason. What have you done? Has nobody ever said to you 'less talking, more punching of faces'?! And why was this ex-football player given lines by the powers that be? We the people do not want to hear your naff English accent unless it's screaming something along the lines of 'fink you can doublecross me, do ya?' followed by the unmistakable sounds of ass-whooping.

I think you're fly, really, I do, but you'd never be mistaken for a rocket surgeon. I think we could totally have a torrid love affair but I would probably need to use electrical tape to ensure total silence on your part.

Roger Donaldson, had I done my research, I may have learned that you have a long list of rubbish movies under your belt (apart from Dante's Peak - man, I love that shit). Had I have done my research, I may have not bothered to waste my time watching The Bank Job. Had I done my research, I may have learned that, based on previous experiences of your movies, there were likely to be huge holes in the plot coupled with terrible acting.

Pretty sure that the only redeeming factor of this movie was that chick who played Donna in Reign Over Me (incidentally, also a shitty movie). She would have redeemed it even further had they not allowed the makeup artist to doll her up like a cheap 70s hooker.

This movie is like bog in my mouth.
Unless you have taste in your arse, you will not enjoy it.

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